kaden's first blog. our first kid. it's an entreprenurial adventure.


Thursday, March 10

Fear of the unknown

It's so obvious who is in charge of our daily schedules that we've taken to calling Kaden, "our little dictator." The most obvious effect is of course on our sleeping habits.

I don't care how many times you are told about this, it's always going to be surprising. This is absolutely not the same as college test all-nighters, precisely because in those cases you had both a predictability about how long you were going to be awake and control over when you would finally sleep.

The agony with the sleep schedules is similar to the problem with child birth. It was not the intensity but the unknown duration that kills you. It's the utter lack of control over what is going to happen next. Like running a marathon where you have no idea how long it is going to be, we have no idea how long he'll be awake, or how long he will sleep. To his credit, he doesn't know much about his schedule either, and he seems to manage it pretty well. I can't imagine what it must be like with a difficult child, because up to now he's been incredibly well mannered and easy.

Megan was breastfeeding the other day and had closed her eyes in a vain attempt to rest for a few minutes while he did the work. When you're basically spending 40% of your waking hours breastfeeding, it can get a little tiresome. Kaden must have also dosed off and had a bad dream or something because he reared back and let out a huge yelp. This of course had the immediate effect of startling the bejeezus out of Megan, and also cause an immediate wave of guilt that perhaps she has somehow drowned him in her milk, smothered him, or some such equally unlikely event.

Anyway, I'm not sure when we will adjust to this newfound "uncertainty" about life that was brought on by the little one. But my guess is somewhere around retirement we'll say we've finally adjusted.

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