We're still in the dark ages of fastening

So the kid is looking up at me on the changing table like, "seriously, it's been five months now, you haven't figured out a faster way to get me dressed? I've learned motor control, how to eat food, and I'm gonna lick walking any day now.. it still takes you five minutes to put a friggin' onesie on me?"

And I can understand his impatience, but I can't do anything about it. It's those stupid snaps! There are a hundred of them and it's ridiculous buttoning every inch and a half of a body like I'm stitching a hopped-up squirrel into a straight jacket.

Has anyone found anything better?

I mean tonight I tried putting him in with something that had buttons and I think he had time to ponder how Locke's Theory of Individuality is perfectly captured on Ebay in the time it took me to button his pajamas.

What gives? We can put a man on the moon (that example really doesn't have the same punch it used to) but we can't get a quick way to throw my kid in jammies? Where's silent velcro when you need it? Someone at MIT, stop working on some new fangled social software just to trade porno movies and get cracking on this.