Baby sleeping is like religion and politics
Wow, I feel like I accidentally started attending church thinking it was just a cool place to hang out on Sunday. Apparently mentioning sleep theories is like bringing up religion or politics, everyone has made up their mind, and you will offend them with your opinion.
The tactic of putting Kaden on a cycle of "sleep, feed, play" that we started the other day is one tenet of a whole
Attachment parenting believes anything that might inconvenience the child constitutes child abuse and will make your child grow up feeling unloved, eventually leading to his/her committing grave acts of violence in a bid for attention.
This is in contrast to the Babywise & Ferber methods. Ferber believes anything done to console the baby makes you a total weak-willed loser bound to raise a hopeless brat who will fail at life.
Ferber also has books, mostly focusing on sleep.. but this also leads to offshoots like the middle of the road Baby Whisperer (you non-parents see how desperate us parents are that we would actually entertain a book with such a creepy title, and I know several people who swear by it).
I had a conversation last week with a friend who has a two month old, and he was asking questions on whether he should let his kid cry until he threw up (or more likely his mom did), or if he should duct tape his kid to him while they slept.. or something like that.
It's all so confusing, trying to pick what theory of parenting you are going to be a part of. So let me make it easy.
You've already made up your mind, stop fighting it.
All these theories you read (or are brought up by friends and loved ones) make it easy to get confused about what you really believe. It's like a business school graduate so hopped up on case studies he wouldn't know what his gut was s if it was removed from his body in a tricky at-home operation and then made to speak in a faux smarty-pants English accent.
You should listen closely to advice from friends and books, because many may match your beliefs. We've learned a lot from comments from friends, family, and the blogosphere. But just like religion and politics, you can't really fake it. Either you are a coldhearted disciplinarian, or you're a weak-willed love-dovey -- that was decided long before you had your kid. Maybe we can read a book and try to be a different kind of parent for a couple days, but eventually the kid is going to catch on and then we're done for.
Worst of all us for you to fake it, and be an inconsistent parent as we trend back to our normal selves. He's going to be shaped by what mom and dad's personalities are like, which is not going to suddenly be subsumed by some book or advice that forever alters our behavior.
Doesn't that sound a little more sane?
Now that I'm fairly sure I've offended absolutely everyone (chances are I didn't get your particular belief system exactly the way you see it), I'm heading home to my crying son.